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| Nathalie is going on disability leave |
Last week, her doctor and the nurses were all shocked that Nathalie was still working and Nathalie didn’t understand why. This week, she does. “Well, I survived my first week at work after the tough chemo treatment. I thought I would not survive. First, the nausea kicked in and then, fatigue”. I hope tomorrow, I will feel better. I hardly ate today. The nightmare is on”. Nathalie will be undergoing treatment for a minimum of eight more weeks and the side effects will be getting worse with each treatment.
On the California state disability plan, she will continue to receive about two-thirds of her current income. For cancer patient disability leave usually means taking some time off for cancer treatment and then come back to work. But there is no coming back to work for Nathalie. Her contract is ending up next month.
For the past couple of weeks Nathalie has been debating if she should or not go on disability.
"On one hand I feel like if I have this perfectly acceptable reason to take time off work I should take it and on the other hand I feel guilty about wanting to be away from work.
I am having a really rough week emotionally. On my way home on Monday, I decided that it is absolutely unrealistic to continue working and do this chemo treatment. This is only the first week and I struggle to gather my energy and keep away the nausea.
I made the difficult decision to go on disability, even though I have one more month left to my contract. It was one of the hardest email to write and I had my load of tears and shame flowing in after I sent the email.
Today and Friday, I have my afternoon loaded with medical appointments; therefore, I have two half-days left to my contract. Today, I enjoyed my last meal at the work cafeteria. I work in a company that has a stellar reputation for its food quality. I remember the very first day I ate at my company’s. Never, in my wildest dreams, I thought I would work here one day.
Even when I was part of the cancer support group, a woman once told me her grandson was a chef at my company. At the time, I was unemployed and I remembered the group leader told us: “Well, with all our cancers, no one will ever work in such great company.” I proved them wrong. I wish I would leave proud and my chest sticking out. I wish I would leave for another great company with an exciting opportunity awaiting me. Instead, I am heading to a string of hospital and doctor appointments. I am heading home to be on disability. And yes, I feel like a failure". said Nathalie
Nathalie’s last day is tomorrow Friday.
